What the hell happened?
 

 
 

What happened between the spring day almost two years ago when hundreds of thousands of men and women converged on Washington, bearing signs like “Keep Your Laws off My Body,” and today, when the Senate confirmed a Supreme Court judge who 20 years ago wrote that in his legal opinion, the Constitution does not protect women’s right to abortion? What happened between Jan. 9, when Smeal declared the left “in better shape to stop Alito,” and yesterday, when visions of future filibusters and assertions that we’re not going to lose our rights quietly were somehow supposed to qualify as good news? Why weren’t we storming the Capitol? Why weren’t there enormous marches? Why didn’t someone buy some national television time or actually burn a bra or something — anything — to snap people out of their “Skating With the Stars” lassitude and make them face the fact that the wolf that has so long been cried about was finally on the Supreme Court steps?

 
 
Good fucking question.

Planned Parenthood interim president Karen Pearl is dead-on when she says that “Elections matter.” Like, duh!

From now on, whenever I see a third party represented on the ticket, I’m voting for ‘em. Green, libertarian, Communist, independent (especially independent) - I don’t fucking care, as long as the party isn’t dominated by a sorry sack of women-hating Godbags. The Dems and Repubes are different incarnations of the same corrupt, bloated, paternalistic, homophobic, Bible-beatin’ beast. Seriously, when your choices are “bad” and “worse” - no matter where you turn - you know the system’s broken.

Time to clean house. Who’s with me?
 

Well, here’s an interesting turn of events:
 

Senator Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island today became the first Republican senator to oppose the nomination of Judge Samuel A. Alito Jr. to the Supreme Court. But the judge still seemed to have enough support for an all-important vote this afternoon.
 
“Judge Alito has outstanding legal credentials and an inspiring life story,” Mr. Chafee said, in a statement released by his office. “However, I am greatly concerned about his philosophy on some important constitutional issues.”
 
Mr. Chafee said he wanted to support President Bush’s choice. “The president did win the election,” the senator said. But he added, “I am a pro-choice, pro-environment, pro-Bill of Rights Republican, and I will be voting against this nomination.”

 
You’ve got to hand it to him - the man’s got stones. We could use a few of him in the Democratic Party. All our reps are spineless douchebags.
 
Anyway, you’re probably all sick of hearing about this guy - I know I  am - but here are a few more Alito links. 
 
From the League of Conservation Voters, a sample letter to your senators;
 
From John Kerry, a pro-filibuster petition; and
 
From the Feminist Majority, a pro-filibuster letter to your senators.
 
 

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!

 
 

 
ABC News anchor treated in Germany after Iraq blast
 
ABC’s Woodruff Injured in Iraq
 
Body armor likely saved Woodruff’s life
 
ABC News Anchor Is Badly Injured by Bomb in Iraq
 
Iraq bomb claims very public victim
 
 
OK, we get it. ABC news anchor Bob Woodruff (yes, Stephen Colbert’s arch-nemesis - that Bob Woodruff) was injured by a roadside bomb in Iraq on Sunday. Yes, he was seriously hurt. Yes, the body armor he was wearing likely saved his life. Yes, y’all are gonna continue to give us minuscule updates every five minutes, whether there’s anything new to report or not. Yes, we get it already!
 
Actually, I don’t have any problem with the continuous coverage. The increasingly dangerous plight of journalists in the mideast makes for a newsworthy topic, particularly because it highlights one of the ways in which this war is different. So why the rant, you ask?
 
Well, instead of critiquing what’s being covered, let’s turn to what isn’t included in many of the Woodruff updates. Reading the above headlines, you might get the impression that Woodruff was the only civilian injured in the bombing. However, his cameraman was hurt - and is in serious condition - as well. As a non-celebrity, a grunt worker - a nobody - he just doesn’t merit much of a mention.
 
Granted, some headlines refer to Doug Vogt, but rarely by name; rather, it’s “Bob Woodruff and his cameraman” or occasionally “ABC Anchor and Cameraman” or, more generically “ABC Journalists.” Most headlines either mention just Woodruff by name, or don’t mention names at all. Within the body of the actual articles, Vogt is usually described in a sentence or two, then it’s on to Woodruff. Some reports don’t even mention Vogt by name, even within the article itself! 
 
Assholes. 
 
Now, don’t even bother to pretend that y’all care about a lowly cameraman! Surely Vogt has a family as well, and I bet they would appreciate it if you guys could at least acknowledge his existence, too. Or, as a minor celeb, does Woodruff’s life just plain matter more? 
 
When you do mention Vogt in your coverage, why not refer to him as something other than “Woodruff’s cameraman”? What the fuck is he, Woodruff’s property? His beyotch? An indentured servant? Yes, the phrase is innocuous in and of itself, but when a majority of the reports parrot “Woodruff’s cameraman” left and right, it does start to sound as though he’s an inanimate object, a piece of property. 
 
And really, would it kill you guys to add “Doug Vogt” to your headlines? It’s only two short words - just eleven characters, counting the spaces! Can you not spare the room? Is he not worthy of eleven meager spaces in your publication? Because without the cameramen and photogs, you douchebags wouldn’t have your ugly mugs plastered all over the telly and in the papers. You’d just be anonymous working schmoes - much like Doug Vogt. 
 
 

“Goddammit Jim, I’m a man, not a pack mule!”

 
 

In between ruining perfectly yummy food and cursing Shane for abandoning me, here’s what I’ve been reading on this dreary weekend.
 
eBay, the Microsoft of online auctions, is facing a lawsuit from Tiffany’s for allowing the sale of cheap Tiffany knockoffs on their web site. According to The New York Times, “If Tiffany wins its case, not only would other lawsuits follow, but eBay’s very business model would be threatened because it would be nearly impossible for the company to police a site that now has 180 million members and 60 million items for sale at any one time.” Take that, ya bastards!
 
Speaking of Microsoft - it’s getting harder and harder to hate that guy. (Damn you, Bill Gates! Why can’t you be more like The Donald?)
 
Also from The New York Times, yet more proof that the Bushies no likey science:
 

The top climate scientist at NASA says the Bush administration has tried to stop him from speaking out since he gave a lecture last month calling for prompt reductions in emissions of greenhouse gases linked to global warming.
 
The scientist, James E. Hansen, longtime director of the agency’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies, said in an interview that officials at NASA headquarters had ordered the public affairs staff to review his coming lectures, papers, postings on the Goddard Web site and requests for interviews from journalists.
 
Dr. Hansen said he would ignore the restrictions. “They feel their job is to be this censor of information going out to the public,” he said. 

 
One of the speakers at The Amazing Meeting is actually Chris Mooney, author of The Republican War On Science. He’s also written extensively for CSICOP, which publishes Skeptical Inquirer. Can’t wait to get my hands on a copy, but alas!, it’s a pretty popular title at my library.
 
Slate examines “The Power-Madness of King George,” and asks “Is Bush turning America into an elective dictatorship?”
 
Next up, The Christian Science Monitor looks at the blending of Christianity and Islam in Africa. Could a super strain of Chrislam be far behind?   Also see The Godless Wonder’s “‘You Got Your Islam in My Christianity!’ / ‘You Got Your Christianity in My Islam!’ (Oy Vey, Thinks Cthulu).” 
 
The Washington Post gets credit for breaking this story: Michelle Malkin, brain damaged.
 
Google sucks after all. Feigning concern for their Chinese users, they capitulated to the Chinese government’s demands that they censor their search results. Of course, you have to be a moron to miss what’s really going on here:
 

The company argues it can play a more useful role in China by participating than by boycotting it, despite the compromises involved.
 
“While removing search results is inconsistent with Google’s mission, providing no information (or a heavily degraded user experience that amounts to no information) is more inconsistent with our mission,” a statement said.

 
Which, in two short words, is “making money”:
 

The number of internet search users in China is predicted to increase from about 100 million currently to 187 million in two years’ time.
 
A survey last August revealed Google was losing market share to Beijing-based rival Baidu.com.

 
Meanwhile, back home, American Googlers are thinking twice before searching the ‘Net. Sweet democracy.
 
A New Jersey student, aided by the ACLU, wins his fight to wear a skirt to school. Normally, I’d applaud this sort of subversion; except, in this case, the student was protesting the school’s “no shorts” policy, enforced from October 1 to April 15. Dude. Life. Get one.
 
 
Lawyer Dons Dominatrix Mask in Mass. Trial
 
 

 
 
Hey, in this case, a picture really is worth a thousand words.
 
 
Michael Jackson Spotted in Robe and Veil
 
 

 
 
Ditto.
 
 
Finally, some recent blog posts you must, must, must read:
 
The vegan threat to homeland security by Pam of Pandagon (Hey, I told you was a terrorist! Or at least on Bush’s terrorist watch list. Good enough.)
 
Missouri: A Case Study by Jill of Feministe
 
Fringe GOP presidential hopeful Sam Brownback by Pam of Pandagon (Are you sensing a pattern? I can’t wait to get the fuck outta Kansas!)
 
Academic freedom by Michael Bérubé
 
 
Allright, it’s back to Rollergirls for me. Happy reading.
 
And wish me luck with that frozen pizza tonight. For dessert: Tofutti ice cream. There’s no way I can fuck that up, right?
 
 

So I figured, with Shane gone for the weekend, I’d spoil myself with junk food and movies all weekend; maybe even a little Stripperella, on loan from Netflix. 
 
In this vein, my agenda for tonight: spring rolls, brownies, a lapful of dogs, and The Deep End. Everything was going good…until I managed to fuck up the brownies.
 
These babies weren’t even created from scratch, mind you. I’m not one for baking, so I made sure I had a box of Betty Crocker Fudge Brownies on hand for my pseudo-vacation (vacation from Shane, that is). All I had to do was combine the fudgey delicious powder in a bowl with water, oil, and egg substitute (I’m a vegan, remember), whip it up, pour it into a pan, and cook for 20 minutes.
 
And yet…somehow, somewhere, things went wrong. Terribly wrong.
 
Try as I might, after 10 minutes of scraping, I had only dislodged 60% of the brownies from their glass prison. The rest, I hope, will disintegrate off. Hopefully sometime before Shane gets home. Not because I care if he finds further evidence of my culinary incompetence, but because I need my fucking sink back. Well, I guess I could soak the pan in the bathtub, if worse comes to worse. Sigh.
 
You think I’m exaggerating, but sadly, I am not. Just check out exhibits A and B. 
 
 

Exhibit A - Worst! Brownies! Ever!
 
If you look closely, in this picture, you can actually see the inside edges of the fudgey mess curled upwards. That, ladies and gents, is where I pulled at the brownies with my bare - and, at this point, disturbingly greasy - hands, trying to pry it apart from the glass. To no avail. Obviously.
 
 

Exhibit B - And still she ate some…

 
Martha Stewart I am not. On the plus side, I guess that means I’m not a criminal. Then again, I’m also not rich. 
 
Oh, Shane, I miss you! Come home already. I want pizza for dinner tomorrow night.
 
 

Because Shane’s in Vegas for The Amazing Meeting 4, and I don’t feel like working on Friday if he’s not…
 

You are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak You’re a famous beauty - with unique look And the people like you are cultish about it

 

What Famous Pinup Are You?

 
Courtesy of fellow Bettie Pager, Lya of Escapee from the Meme Machine.
 
 

An op-ed in today’s The NY Times  has some harsh words for our esteemed jellyfish (errr, Senators) - grow a spine already. 
 

Judge Samuel Alito Jr., whose entire history suggests that he holds extreme views about the expansive powers of the presidency and the limited role of Congress, will almost certainly be a Supreme Court justice soon. His elevation will come courtesy of a president whose grandiose vision of his own powers threatens to undermine the nation’s basic philosophy of government — and a Senate that seems eager to cooperate by rolling over and playing dead.
 
It is hard to imagine a moment when it would be more appropriate for senators to fight for a principle. Even a losing battle would draw the public’s attention to the import of this nomination.

 
Here, here!
 
While most Dems seem reluctant to go the filibuster route, CNN reports that - surprise, surprise! - Kerry is trying to convince his party to filibuster. If only he had shown this much moxie in 2004 - maybe then I would have voted for the schmoe.
 
Kerry isn’t exactly known for his persuasiveness (or even animation), so let’s help him out. Below are yet another round of anti-Alito activist links. Previous roundups can be found here, here, here and here.
 
From Planned Parenthood’s Save Roe, a sample letter for your Senators;
 
From NOW, a request to call your senators and demand a filibuster;
 
From Move On, a call for letters to the editor; and
 
From DefCon, an invitation to attend their online Alito chat tomorrow at 2 PM eastern. Questions, submitted in advance, are welcome.
 

Time for a brain teaser, folks. Not to worry - this one would make the Pope blush. Or smite your sorry ass. Guess we’ll have to read his encyclical to find out which.
 
 
Your challenge: Find the naughty bits in this Yellow Pages advertisement.
 
 

 
 
Extra credit: Did this ad actually appear in the Yellow Pages, or is it a fraud?
 
 
Find out the answers at Snopes.