I totally suck.
 
More than a month ago, a reader who volunteers at Rocket Dog Rescue in San Francisco (a city that, currently, I totally *heart*) asked me to give a shout out for a new book called Tails of Devotion. After hopping on over to the book’s website and swooning over the concept, I promised that I would…and then totally forgot. Ooops! In my defense, I wasn’t blogging about anything at the time. I know, excuses, excuses.
 
Luckily, my timing is impeccable. What with Mother’s Day fast approaching, Tails of Devotion would make a great gift for the mother in your life – especially if she has (or has loved) babies of the furry, four-legged type (yours truly included, wink, wink!). It’s a sweet coffee table tome that features photos of companion animals and their guardians, alongside letters written by the humans to/from their furbabies. A number of Bay Area celebs contributed to the project – think Amy Tan, Robin Williams, Mickey Hart, and Ronnie Lott.
 
The best part: 100% of the proceeds will be donated to animal rescue organizations, including The San Francisco SPCA, PAWS, Friends of San Francisco Animal Care and Control, Pets Unlimited, Rocket Dog Rescue, Summit County Friends of Animals, and – my personal fave – Best Friends Animal Society.
 
Now get your arse on over there and order a copy.
 
 

 
 

 

Yes, I was, uh…I was thinking about ordering the tape, the videotape…
about the college girls and the…the wild…the wildness.
They’re going wild or something?
Somebody told me…about going wild.

 
Yes, that’s your young featherhead circa 1981. Apparently trying to order softcore porn over the phone. Hey, you can’t say I didn’t have balls. A real trend-setter I was.
 
Then again, I’m not even sure what a “sex positive” feminist is. Does that mean I don’t weep uncontrollably during intercourse? Or do I just cry a bit more softly? I am so confused.
 
During my fruitless efforts to edumakate myself, I stumbled upon the inter-feminist implosion, which I followed with a strange mix of amusement, frustration, and horror. Like a highbrow version of Jerry Springer on teh internets. Pro-sex feminists vs….what? Anti-sex feminists? Progressive Bloggers of Color vs. (pseudo?-)progressive honky bloggers. Gestapo-esque mods vs. substitute teacher-ish ones. Can’t we all just get the fuck along and, like, learn to disagree on some points?
 
I don’t get it. Someone please to explain? 
 
I fucking ♥ that picture, though.
 

Thanks a lot, Reuters. Here I am, brushing up on the day’s headlines while brushing my teeth before bed, and this is the story you give me.

Investigators enter US with ‘dirty-bomb’ material

Great.

Perhaps the article title is sensationalized, you know, Geraldo-at-Large style. Maybe it’s not really as bad as it sounds?

If only.

Two teams made simultaneous entries at the U.S.-Mexican border and the border with Canada carrying radioactive material in their vehicles in December 2005, the Government Accountability Office (GAO) said in the report on its investigation.

The congressional watchdog agency said the test was designed to examine potential weaknesses related to radiation monitors that have been installed at U.S. border ports of entry, the GAO said.

The monitors worked. But the investigators, posing as employees of a fictitious, still got past the border patrol with fake paperwork authorizing them to transport the material, the report said.

You’ve gotta be shittin’ me. Our crack team of security experts is as gullible as…my high school secretaries? (Who, by way of illustration, fell for my forged early releases almost weekly. Or maybe they just wanted to be rid of me. Both scenarios are equally plausible.)

But wait, it gets better - errr, worse…

As part of the GAO undercover test, investigators easily bought a small amount of radioactive material from a commercial source by telephone, the agency said.

The purchase was not challenged because suppliers are not required to determine whether buyers have a legitimate reason for acquiring such material and are not required to ask for an NRC authorization document when small quantities are purchased, the GAO said.

“We could have purchased all of the radioactive sources used in our two undercover border crossings by making multiple purchases from different suppliers… using false identities, and had all of the radioactive sources conveniently shipped to our nation’s capital,” the letter said.

In other words, Shane and I - both nerds with a multitude of chronic allergies - have to jump through flaming hoops just to get our drugged-out paws on pseudoephedrine (a fucking decongestant, mind you!), while potential terrorists cart radioactive materials to and fro? Radioactive materials that they ordered over the phone!?

WTF. Seriously, just WTF.

I ♥ science. Always have. But today, when I happened upon this slice of deliciousness via the BBC, I ♥ed science more than I’ve ever ♥ed science before. This one’s for you, dear Patriarchy.
 

Testicle cells may aid research
 
Stem cells hold great promise for new treatments for many conditions as they have the ability to become many different types of adult tissue.
 
But at present the most flexible type is found in human embryos - and their use is mired in controversy.
 
A German team describes in the journal Nature how it isolated cells from mice testes that seem equally useful.

The researchers believe similar cells could also be extracted from humans.

 
Patriarchy, looks like it’s high time to sack up and donate your pasty white balls to science. You know, kind of like how you expect - nay, demand! - your womenfolk to lend out their uteri to every clump of parasitic squatter cells that happens to pass through. 
 
Plus, this offers an equitable compromise to the whole stem cell pickle, no? If you want to save an embryo, just give up some testicular tissue. Sounds like a fair trade to me. 
 
And could there be a better way to prove that you’re as pro-life as you always claim to be? 
 
Sweet, sweet science. It’s no wonder the Repubes dislike it so!
 
 

Sweet salty balls…

Too bad the evil scientists are making you fertile again!

 
 

 
 

 
 
Way scarier than snakes on a plane. If it ever comes down to Samuel L. Jackson and a three-headed ankle biter, my cash is on the ankle biter. Especially my ankle-biter.

And yes, still phonin’ it in. Luckily, there’s plenty of crap in my Flickr photostream to keep y’all occupied during the lull.

Yeah, I’m still here, just too busy to post.

Till next time, check out Dick Cheney’s rider, which includes a most unpatriotic brand of bubbly, as well as Fox News on every TV. Wonder if Dick sips on his Perrier while watching the O’Reilly Factor? Oh, the horror!

 

 
 
Link via the Godless Wonder, “one of the best-kept secrets in the atheist blogosphere.”