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And, in a special “Godbaggers Gone Worse” bonus link dump, we have:
“Wing and a prayer: religious right got Bush elected - now they are fighting each other / Campaigners who fail to keep the hardline faith face threats and intimidation,” from the Guardian. Just a hint of the fundie goodness found inside:
“I would rather put my .38 pistol in a child’s room than put a computer or a television set there. The devil’s crowd is working how to get to your children,” declared Brother Richard Emmett in his Mothering Sunday sermon, broadcast to audiences in eastern Tennessee.
Yummy. Crazies never disappoint.
Next up from WaPo: another group of godbaggers has kerplunkt an 850-pound granite statue of the 10 Commandments right on their front lawn. Which just so happens to sit across from the Supreme Court HQ. Oh, happy, holy coincidences!
In Florida, sexually frustrated godbaggers take down a local dildo shop with a homemade WMD. So good, even George Carlin couldn’t have made it up.
Turning to our Allah-baggers in the Middle East, “the coach of Iraq’s tennis team and two players were shot dead in Baghdad,” reports the BBC. Their crime? Wearing. Fucking. Shorts. Denmark-bashers, is this really what you want? Because, dareisay, this is where your cultural relativism and respect for all religious beliefs, no matter how zealous, will getcha. Seriously.
Just take a look:
Muslim women in the USA have been asking the public to accommodate their religious beliefs about modesty, a trend that some Muslims worry will provoke a backlash.
In some recent examples:
• In Lincoln Park, Mich., Fitness USA relented when Muslim women demanded that the gym wall off a co-ed aerobic center from their women-only section because men could see them working out.
• In Bridgeview, Ill., a Muslim school says it wants its girls’ basketball team to play road games against non-Muslim schools provided the public schools ban men and teenage boys from the game.
• In North Seattle, Wash., a public pool set up a swim time for Muslim women in which men, even male lifeguards, are banned.
Though some moderate Muslim scholars realize how foolish such demands are - not to mention un-fucking-constitutional - others see them as a natural civil right that’s accorded them via the First Amendment:
Salam Al-Marayati, executive director of Muslim Public Affairs Council, says the right to petition for special accommodation based on religious beliefs is protected by the First Amendment.
“Whether a woman wants to cover her hair or not is her personal choice,” he says. “As long as it’s not imposed on the rest of society then I don’t see any problem.”
Yeah, but banning a girls’ fathers, brothers, and male friends from a sporting event so as to not offend the other team’s delicate (and superstitious) sensibilities - well, that kinda is forcing your beliefs on another group of people, isn’t it?
Listen, I’ve got no problem with women who truly want to wear a burqua of their own accord, or who would rather their parents choose their mate for ‘em. If it’s of their own free will (extra special emphasis on the “free will” part), then what do I care? But you’ve got not fucking right - none - to expect me to observe (or even respect) your theological beliefs, too. If you choose to live in a secular country, then you’d better be ready to tone down your religious zealotry accordingly.
Now sit down, shut up, and have a side of freedom fries to go with that plate o’ crazy you so love. That goes double for you, Dobson!
Brain-Dead Woman Gives Birth, Then Dies. Didn’t Bill Frist have miniseries’ worth of wet dreams exactly like this?
“Michelle Malkin: Anchor Baby.” This exposé by Spittle & Ink: a must-read.
Would Chris Matthews fuck you? Take his Test of Attractibility and find out!
Dearest leaders - please don’t wall off the border. Think of the fuzzy wuzzies!
I would have kept the pot.
More f’ed up Katrina news from Salon: “Locking out New Orleans’ poor / Almost a year after Katrina, public housing residents can’t return home. Critics blame government negligence — and hushed plans for big redevelopment.” (I would excerpt, but I’m too lazy to click through.)
Meanwhile, Brownie keeps whining that no one ♥s him. But I ’spose this wasn’t his fault, either. (Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!)
Even the professional trolls don’t come ’round these parts. What am I, chopped livah?
The BEAST obtained transcript of a call placed by House Speaker Dennis Hastert to Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi at 9:30 am on Sunday, May 21. An excerpt:
DH: If there’s one thing all of us should agree on, it’s that basic constitutional rights against unreasonable search and seizure must be protected.
NP: For congress.
DH: Right, exactly, for congress.
Go check it.
Jail me! - Super Size Me!’s Morgan Spurlock takes on the Henrico County correctional system for the season premiere of his 30 Days FX documentary. I wonder if the jail food sent him into gastrointestinal distress, too?
Ten things you might be able to catch me doing in Vegas at 2 AM. (Hint: odds are strongly in favor of #26. Yeah, I’m lame.)
From Feministe comes word of a special charity screening of Joss Whedon’s Serenity. To benefit his favorite charity, Equality Now. On his birthday. Fuck, I knew there was a reason I liked that guy.
Says he:
There are two ways to fight a battle like ours. One is to whisper in the ear of the masses, try subtlely and gradually to change the gender expectations and mythic structures of our culture. That’s me. The other is to step up and confront the thousands of atrocities that are taking place around the world on an immediate, one-by-one basis. That’s a great deal harder, and that’s Equality Now. It’s not about politics; it’s about basic human decency.
As luck would have it, the Kansas City screenings are taking place while I’m gone, and there isn’t one planned for Rochester. Closest one is in Albany, which isn’t that bad…except it’s on the same day as my little bro’s high school graduation. Sigh.
I’ve already seen it, though, and it’s a fucking kick-ass movie. In fact, I loved it so much that I went out and got the Firefly set for my trip. Sure beats idle small talk on a long, stuffy flight cross country. So if you get a chance, GO! You can totally rub it in my face afterwards.
Via Mojo blogger Bradford Plumer:
Okay, I’m a bit confused as to why it’s perfectly acceptable to alert every single member of al-Qaeda in Iraq that we have a “huge treasure” of information about them, but somehow it’s not okay to discuss the details of a warrantless domestic eavesdropping program in court because doing so would cause “grave harm to United States national security.” Never mind, I guess this is the rhetorical question section.
It’s Flag Day - which is, apparently, the perfect time of year for our elected sheeple to shoot their collective load on the constitution:
WASHINGTON — The Senate is one vote away from passing a constitutional amendment that would ban desecration of the U.S. flag, the closest that amendment supporters have been to passage.
The American Legion, which supports the amendment, and the American Civil Liberties Union, which opposes it, both say there are 66 votes to pass it.
Whether advocates can find the 67th vote to send the flag amendment to the states for ratification remains unclear. A Senate vote is set for the week of June 26.
Elections, post-9/11 patriotism and the Iraq war have improved the measure’s prospects since the Senate last voted in 2000, says Patrick Brady of the Citizens Flag Alliance. “We’re very hopeful we’ll get it,” he says.
Predictably, Bill Frist is leading a hearty circle jerk over the prospect of such a ban. Even more twisted? It’s a bipartisan circle jerk. Ewww! C’mon, guys, no one wants to see that!
Luckily, both the ACLU and the Council for Secular Humanism have provided handy-dandy sample letters so that you can tell your Congressheeple to keep their tainted DNA off your secular constitution. Particularly the First Amendment.
The AP reports on the increasing number of “unclaimed” bodies that are abandoned at the coroner’s office or funeral home. Although some of these cases are an extension of familial disputes, many times it’s a simple matter of economics. Funerals are motherfucking expensive, and many families just can’t pay up:
Often, the reasons are economic. Funeral costs average more than $6,000, and that can create a burden for people struggling to make ends meet, said Harry Campbell, an investigator with the Stark County coroner’s office.
While Stark County deals with only a handful of unclaimed bodies every year, more populous urban counties, such as Cleveland and Columbus, see a greater number. Last year Cuyahoga County investigated 43 cases. Franklin County had more than 140.
Ouch.
Mind you, funerals didn’t used to be so friggin’ costly. Before the advent of funeral homes, DIY funerals were the norm: just you, your loved one, a pine box, and a plot in the family graveyard out back. Oh, and a half dozen shovels. No embalming, no velvet-lined coffins with satin pillows, no elaborate granite headstone. No need for any of that BS.
But the death pimps funeral directors, in an effort to really getcha while you’re down, have over the years invented $6000 worth of goods and services that you absolutely must buy for dear mum after she passes (otherwise how will the neighbors know how much you really loved her?). Guilt-tripping, as valuable a tool as it is, isn’t the only one in a funeral director’s arsenal. Nope, they’re not above lying to families about the legalities of corpse disposal, using slick product placement to promote caskets that cost more than my used Saturn, or even resorting to the ole bait-n-switch. Don’t believe me? Check out Milford’s The American Way of Death or Carlson’s Caring for Your Dead. Seriously, most of these people are bottom feeders.
Which is why I feel absolutely filthy after reading comments from the mouths of funeral directors regarding this trend:
These situations are a sad commentary on just how weak family ties have become to some people, said David Corey, executive director of the Ohio State Coroners Association in Columbus.
…and…
“When people walk away, they aren’t avoiding a legal obligation, just a moral obligation,” said Scott Gilligan, an attorney with the Ohio Funeral Directors Association.
Oh, the hypocrisy! It burns, it burns!
Listen, you douchebags: most families wouldn’t have to forsake the bodies of their loved ones if you hadn’t made an affordable funeral nearly fucking impossible. Do y’all really think most parents, children, grandchildren, brothers, and sisters feel good about leaving their beloved to rot in the company of a stranger? On second thought, don’t answer that. Given your fucked up sense of morality, I doubt I’ll much like the answer.
(Note to everyone else: yet another excellent reason to consider whole body donation. Help science, save money. Could there be a sweeter deal?)
“If I continued to headbang on stage, I could have had a brain hemorrhage and dropped dead on the spot.”
- Jonathan Davis, lead singer of Korn, on his recent hospitalization for a blood disorder
(Filed under “I know I shouldn’t laugh, but for fuck’s sake, how do I not?”)
No, sillies, not a purity pledge - a pledge to vote pro-choice this November. Fuck, every November, from now ’till the end of time. But I guess NARAL didn’t wanna push too hard for a commitment. (*Shrug*)
Dear Friend, [That’s you guys!]
It’s time to do the math!
:: 2 anti-choice Justices have been confirmed to the Supreme Court.
:: 13 states have considered or are considering abortion bans.
:: 290 anti-choice federal candidates are running for office this November.
It all equals one thing — emboldened anti-choice leaders are setting the stage to end a woman’s right to choose. But with an important race in every state, the 2006 election is a high-stakes opportunity for us to stop them.
The solution is clear: we must elect pro-choice candidates at every level or face more anti-choice laws, more anti-choice Supreme Court Justices, and more restrictions to women’s access to abortion care.
Join me and take the pro-choice pledge by promising that you will vote for pro-choice candidates this November. Click here to take the pledge.
Well, what are you waiting for? For the love of FSM, click! here! now!
My womb and I thank you.
Pam at Pandagon links to this video of the Shirley Phelps Roper interview on Fox News’ The Big Story. Though Pam’s dead-on when she says that “It’s no accident that the Phelps’s get abused on Faux News — the family is so extreme that it allows the Rethug channel to appear reasonable,” I’ve still gotta give Fox props. I’ve seen members of Phelp’s church family cult on other news shows, where the reporters treat them with much more respect than they deserve. Which is, like, any amount above zero. Journalists today are just plain soft. It’s like they all attended the Barbara Wa-Wa School of Softcore Journalism. But not this chick. Nope, she jumped on old Shirley like a tamale-spitting pit bull straight out of hell. She was literally foaming at the mouth (you could see the spittle!) even before introducing Phelps. And while the scripture bee got a bit old - really, it’s all BS, ya mo-rons - the name-calling was wondrous. Go check it out.
Miss me? I’ve been kinda busy getting ready for an upcoming three-week vacation. Shane & I are driving to NY to visit our families - an 18-hour drive, yay! - and we’ll spend a week in Vegas, to boot. The coolest part is that it’s almost free. We finally made use of a $700 airline voucher that I’ve been hanging onto for more than a decade (What can I say? I’m totally lame and almost never go anywhere good.), and Shane’s brother let us use his timeshare for the week. So really we’re just looking at food and entertainment expenses at this point. Which are kind of ridiculous, but what can ya do? Luckily, Vegas’ vegan donut place is a friggin’ bargain! (Mmmm. Chocolate glazed. Boston cream. Apple turnovers. Slurp!) Or so I’ve heard, anyway.
Anyway. Blogging will probably be slow for the rest of the week, and then nonexistent until mid-July. I’ll try to post some pics if I’ve got the time. No wedding photos, though. Shane & I went with a nice cheap package at the Stratosphere - just $155 - no photos included. The photog was totally trying to fuck us.
Oh, yeah, I didn’t mention? A | | | |
