Taking a holiday…

Filed under: Holidays & Observances — Kelly @ October 31, 2006 10:35 am

 

HSUS Halloweenie eCard

 

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Where all the freaks at? (10/21-10/27)

Filed under: Heap o' Headlines — Kelly @ October 27, 2006 6:14 pm

Running a bit late today….

Carnival of Empty Cages 4

Carnival of the Green 50

Carnival of Hurricane Relief 61

Carnival of Satire 52

Skeptic’s Circle 46

Carnival of the Liberals 24

Erase Racism Carnival 6

Carnival of the Decline of Democracy 11

Carnival of Bad History 10

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When Ads Attack!

Filed under: Politics — Kelly @ October 26, 2006 3:37 pm

I rarely watch Larry King Live (worst. interviewer. ever.), but last night I tuned in for the Dixie Chicks (who have a new documentary coming out this November - Shut Up & Sing, indeed!). And I totally stayed for the segment on attack ads.

King and his guests mostly focused on the recent anti-Ford ads in Tennessee, the first of which was blatantly sexist, with racist overtones thrown in for that extra ooomph! That one only ran for a week, which the Republican on the panel tried to use to her party’s advantage. (”Larry, you gotta give us cred for limiting our use of the race card to just one week!“) The attack ad that took its place (“Shaky”) had me wishing I lived in Tennessee just so I could vote for Harold Ford Jr. - until he denied the ad’s accusations of tolerance towards women, gays, and repro rights, that is. For shame! Since when is tolerance a bad thing? And for a Dem, nonetheless.

The attacks ads they trotted out were relatively tame, though. Larry King didn’t even touch some of the more vile stuff out there, whether on TV or the internets. Take, for example, the consistently vile commercials churned out by wingnut Paul R. Nelson of Wisconsin.

First up: the too-sexay-for-tv Sex Studies Ad - an ad “so powerfull [sic] a sitting US Senator threatened TV stations with legal action if they dared to play it.”

A word of warning: as far as I can tell, this ad is only available on Nelson’s web site, which is such a hunk of garbage that it makes some My Space pages look like works of HTML genius. The video crashed my Firefox three times, and only loaded up in Internet Explorer after five minutes or so.

That said, click here to go to Nelson’s web site, and then click on the huge Sex Studies Ad link to open the video.

When Ads Attack (0001)

Shorter Paul: “Hi. I’m Paul R. Nelson, and I obsess over hawt man-on-Cub Scout-on-wildebeest backdoor action so you don’t have to. That, and it’s always been a passion of mine. In conclusion, a vote for me is a vote for children, puppies, cotton candy, and our troops.”

Next, an ad that did see some air time. Not quite as tit-illating as the XXX ad, but definitely more diverse. See if you can count the stereotypes.

And do keep both eyes open for the fab-u-lous! gay wedding cake, topped with two hunky plastic grooms, and flanked by - gasp! - a rainbow hued disco ball! Where did this jackass learn about Teh Gays - 70’s softcore porno flicks? Hmmmm….that would explain quite a bit, actually.

Anywho, on to the homobigotry, by way of You Tube.

When Ads Attack (0002)

Shorter Paul: “Hi. I’m Paul R. Nelson, and I hate Homo Sexuals, “freedom of speech”, morally bankrupt heathens who will not accept Jesus Christ© as their Personal Lord and Savior™, nonconforming multi-colored disco balls, brown people, and perverts who fornicate in anything other than The Missionary Position. Praise Jesus.”

The final Paul R. Nelson-approved attack ad is an oldie and a baddie. This one’s my pick for the lowest attack ad of the season. Misogyny, misinformation, and sentimentality all rolled into one stinking pile. Also via You Tube.

When Ads Attack (0003)

Shorter Paul: “Hi. I’m Paul R. Nelson. My likes include fetuses, pregnant women, and The Patriarchy. My dislikes include women, privacy, and women. If you elect me, I promise to bring the awesome power of Sperm Magic to Washington.”

Shorter Rebecca: “Paul R. Nelson wants my mommy to die.”

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I smell Bush**

Filed under: Politics, Current Events, War on Terra — Kelly @ October 24, 2006 5:58 pm


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Next on the list: hypocrites and liars

Filed under: Politics, Current Events, War on Terra — Kelly @ October 24, 2006 12:24 pm

America, it worked!

On Friday, I announced my midterm election picks for a special edition of the On Notice board. Nestled snugly between “Bible Beaters” and “Abstainers” were the ever-annoying “Stay-the-Coursers.”

America, you know the kind:

“We’ll stay the course in Iraq.”

“We will stay the course. We will help this young Iraqi democracy succeed.”

“I saw people wondering whether the United States would have the nerve to stay the course and help them succeed.”

“We will win in Iraq so long as we stay the course.”

As if all that “stay the course” talk wasn’t bad enough, it was usually delivered alongside another equally irritating phrase, the disingenuous “cut and run”:

“Most leading Democrats argue we should pull our troops out of Iraq. They would have our country quit in Iraq before the job is done. That’s why they are the party of cut and run.”

“Strategically, we think it’s very important that we stay in Iraq and we win in Iraq. And if we were to cut and run and go and leave that country too early, it would be a disaster for American policy.”

“Cowards cut and run, Marines never do.”

And, to ensure that they’d adequately insulted our collective intelligence, the stay-the-coursers even tried to repackage their “strategy” for resale:

“Look, the fact is that our mission in the war in Iraq is critical. We agree on that; we agree it’s wrong to cut and run. But look, we’re not coming in and saying ‘Stay the course.’ The choice in this election is not between ‘Stay the course’ and ‘Cut and run,’ it’s between ‘Win by adapting’ and ‘Cut and run.’

Yet, when faced with the awesome wrath of the On Notice Board,* the Bushies scrambled to distance themselves from the “stay the course” label:

With just two weeks until Election Day, the White House sought to ease political anxieties over security in Iraq — most notably by no longer saying the United States will “stay the course” in Iraq — but rejected calls from lawmakers for a dramatic policy shift.

White House press secretary Tony Snow said Monday the phrase “stay the course” doesn’t capture the “dynamism” of the tactics America and its allies are employing.

He stopped using it,” Snow said of that phrase.

Oh, Tony, don’t play coy! Not only did GW stop using the phrase, he denied ever having advocated a “stay the course” strategy in the first place:

STEPHANOPOULOS: Is the government [of Iraq] performing up to your standards right now?

BUSH: The government is. Look — look, these guys have been in office for about four months. [Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Kamal al-] Maliki — I — in my judgment, Maliki has got what it takes to lead a unity government. But what you’re seeing is a new — a new form of government actually beginning to evolve after years of tyranny. I’m patient. I’m not patient forever. And I’m not patient with dawdling. But I recognize the degree of difficulty of the task and, therefore, we say to the American people, we won’t cut and run. On the other hand, we’ll constantly adjust our strategy —

STEPHANOPOULOS: That’s exactly what I wanted to ask you about because [former Secretary of State under President George H.W. Bush] James Baker says he’s looking for something between —

BUSH: Cut and run —

STEPHANOPOULOS: — cut and run and stay the course.

BUSH: Listen, we’ve never been stay the course, George. We have been — we will complete the mission. We will do our job and help achieve the goal, but we’re constantly adjusting to tactics.

You could say he’s (ahem!) “cutting and running” from it.**

Next on the list: hypocrites and liars. GW, I’m (still) looking at you.

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* OK, America, I can’t lie to you. Bush was in fact distancing himself from his “stay the course” rhetoric” before I put his ass on notice;

Stay the course means keep doing what you’re doing. My attitude is, don’t do what you’re doing if it’s not working; change. Stay the course also means, don’t leave before the job is done. We’re going to get the job done in Iraq.”

however, I think The Board was just the push he needed.

** Which, sadly, many news outlets are.

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My Body, Their Battleground

Filed under: Feminism, Religion, Repro Rights, Godbaggers — Kelly @ October 23, 2006 6:25 pm

“I think it’s great that more pro-life people are finally speaking up about it…It’s always been a touchy subject, but you have to stand strong on your beliefs. Contraception is the root cause of the explosion of the amount of abortions in the world.

With November 7 rocketing towards us, it’s time for the so-called “moderates” out there - politicians and voters alike - to wake the fuck up to the right wing’s (read: evangelicals’) end game, particularly regarding women’s autonomy. Though they like to frame the debate re: reproductive rights, specifically abortion, in terms of life (”the baybees, think about the baybees!”), there’s nothing “pro-life” about their agenda. Make no mistake: they are anti-choice. Not just “anti- a woman’s right to choose whether or not to abort the parasite residing within her,”* but “anti- a woman’s choice to fuck without experiencing the consequences of an unplanned pregnancy.”

Exhibit #1: Their increasingly fervent assault on women’s access to contraception.

Emboldened by the anti-abortion movement’s success in restricting access to abortion, an increasingly vocal group of Christian conservatives is arguing that it’s time to mount a concerted attack on contraception.

Their voices were raised in Rosemont on Friday and Saturday at an unusual anti-abortion meeting that drew 250 people from around the nation to condemn artificial birth control. Experts at the gathering assailed contraception on the grounds that it devalues children, harms relationships between men and women, promotes sexual promiscuity and leads to falling birth rates, among social ills.

Contraception is more the root cause of abortion than anything else,” Joseph Scheidler, an anti-abortion veteran whose Pro-Life Action League sponsored the conference, said in an interview.

See, your reasonable, “moderate” (theoretical) pro-lifer would recognize that contraception is actually the single most effective means of reducing the need for abortion. Our government’s enthusiastic support for abstinence-only education has demonstrated what feminists have known all along: you can’t stop people from fornicating. Ain’t gonna work. Besides, why should they? I know it’s hard to comprehend, but not all folks share your same set of values. For example, this statement:

Damon Clarke Owens, another speaker and president of New Jersey Natural Family Planning, believes contraception changes sex from a “unconditional gift of self” to a conditional act that turns away from “God’s gift of children.”

seriously makes me want to go out and buy a Baby Jesus Butt Plug, just so I can defile Owens’ deity’s image. Repeatedly. Even though I’m not really into that kind of thing.

It must be difficult to walk upright, what with such thick skulls and all, but not all people are Christians. And not all Christians share the same single (misogynistic, homophobic, insert your “ism” here) interpretation of Teh Bible. Shocking, I know. Plus, there is this little thing called separation of church and state. So your particular strain of superstition, while entertaining, cannot be used to justify which rights y’all decide to dole out to the populace.

But wait! Clark has more gems of wisdom to impart to us immoral heathens:

“If the sex act has nothing to do with a child, then what happens if contraception fails?” he asked. “Abortion becomes a backup for failed contraception, another way of getting rid of the unwanted and devalued child.” **

Again, I know we’re contending with that thick skull issue, but…if every American knew how to properly use contraception, had access to it, and made use of it consistently, then there would be very few abortions. And for every broken condom and missed pill, a dose of EC. Voila - problem almost completely solved!

Yet, Bible Beaters, champions of Teh Patriarchy, and other women-haters don’t want to hear it.

“We’ve been trained to steer clear of discussing contraception, as if it were a distraction. I’m tired of this ‘Don’t get off the subject’ mentality. Contraception is the subject.

Women (and sympathetic men) - it starts with your right to choose whether or not to carry a pregnancy to term. Let them strip you of that right, and they’ll come for your birth control pills, condoms, IUDs, and EC next. And they won’t rest until you’re trapped in a sappily sentimental version of the ’50s, where you’re perpetually barefoot and pregnant, a nice submissive little thing that honors her husband as if he were God incarnate.

So go Google your county’s website, find and print out a voter ballot, and research each and every candidate listed on that baby. Support candidates who support your right to abort, your right to contracept, your right to choose - your right to bodily autonomy.

It’s my body, and I’m fucking sick of fundies, godidiots, and political opportunists who use and abuse it like a battleground.

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* Yeah, I said it. And if the self-loathing beyatches of the Cunt Bag Brigade ™ gotst a problem with my equating a fetus (a fetus, not a baby, you silly wimmins) with a parasite, then take it up with the editors at dictionary.com, who define “parasite” thusly:

“Biology. An organism that grows, feeds, and is sheltered on or in a different organism while contributing nothing to the survival of its host.”

** “Child”? Now we’re really confusing terminology, eh?

fetus - embryology (used chiefly of viviparous mammals) the young of an animal in the womb or egg, esp. in the later stages of development when the body structures are in the recognizable form of its kind, in humans after the end of the second month of gestation.

child - a person between birth and full growth; a boy or girl

Feti are not babies, you med school rejects!

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Jimmy, bring out the On Notice board.

Filed under: Politics, Fluffy Stuff, Interactive — Kelly @ October 22, 2006 9:36 pm

Indecision ‘06 edition, beyatch.
 

The On Notice Board - Indecision '06 ed.

 

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Where all the freaks at? (10/14-10/20)

Filed under: Heap o' Headlines, Your Featherhead's Furbabies — Kelly @ October 20, 2006 4:57 pm

Carnivals:

Carnival of Hurricane Relief 60

Carnival of Satire 51

Carnival of Feminists 25

Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans 6

History Carnival 41

Sour Jocks Sports Carnival 3