No Shit, Sherlock

Filed under: Current Events, War on Terra — Kelly @ November 30, 2006 7:23 pm

Says the Prez:

So we’ll be in Iraq until the job is complete, at the request of a sovereign government elected by the people. I know there’s a lot of speculation that these reports in Washington mean there’s going to be some kind of graceful exit out of Iraq. We’re going to stay in Iraq to get the job done, so long as the government wants us there. […]

And that’s why this business about graceful exit just simply has no realism to it at all.

Ya, I think you killed any possibility of a “graceful exit” years ago. It’s mighty tough to tapdance over 600,000 corpses, asshole.

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I’m every John.

Filed under: Fluffy Stuff, Interactive — Kelly @ November 29, 2006 5:12 pm

 


Which John Cusack Are You?

 
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Please tell me she was gearing up for the 700 Club.

Filed under: Literature — Kelly @ November 29, 2006 4:14 pm

There’s a Colbertesque book joke hiding in here somewhere….

Bookcase ‘trap’ killed US woman

The body of a missing US woman has been found by her family, wedged upside down behind a bookcase in her room.

Mariesa Weber, 38, is believed to have fallen over and become trapped as she tried to reach behind the bookcase to adjust the plug for a TV set.

Her family spent nearly two weeks searching for her, fearing she had been kidnapped from the house she shared with them in Florida.

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I’m tired of this motherfuckin’ poke in my motherfuckin’ hawt dawgs!

Filed under: Quotables, Say what? — Kelly @ November 28, 2006 1:17 pm

“The case isn’t about Jews suing Vienna beef. The case is about Vienna beef not telling consumers that their all-beef hot dog contains pork, whether they’re Jews, Muslims, or Samuel L. Jackson.”

- Lawyer for the plaintiffs Lance Raphael, on his clients’ suit against Vienna Beef for failing to disclose that their “all-beef” wieners are, in fact, encased in pig intestines. Via Religion Clause.



Today, I Give Thanks…

Filed under: Animals, Holidays & Observances — Kelly @ November 23, 2006 7:06 pm

——— Forwarded message ———-
From: Kinship Circle - kinshipcircle [at] brick.net
Date: Nov 23, 2006 4:17 PM
Subject: Today, I Give Thanks…

Permission to cross-post

11/23/06: Today, I Give Thanks…
From Kinship Circle
www.KinshipCircle.org

By Brenda Shoss

Today I give thanks for each faceless victim pulled from dark waters…

For fluids and needles poked through paper skin.
For infinite food left in forgotten cities…
And the glimmer of foil pans filled with water.
For recognition of life in vacant eyes.
Love revisited…
And the promise of a warm lap.
Today I give thanks to rescuers
And recall untold mercy, selfless and vast.

Today I give thanks to those who inhabit my home…

One born in a puppy mill
Another dumped on a road
A kitten retrieved from floodwaters
And a cat claimed from death row.
For bottomless love…
Left in whispers upon my face
Wound around arms and legs
Sloshed in wet kisses
Asleep at my feet.

Today I give thanks for the blessed few among billions…

Freed from sunless warehouses
To flutter a wing
Stretch a leg
And peck warm dirt
Curious eyes over blunt, severed beaks
Once factory-farm trash,
Now someone’s treasure.

Today I give thanks for a world…

Where laws can change,
Views transform…
And hope rebounds in the eyes of an animal.
Where tumult, pain, joy, courage and stamina
speak inside a single creature’s eyes…
Crushing indifference
Rousing nameless deaths
And stirring empathy
Where there once was none.

Today, I give thanks for miracles…

Born in a son
Who is compassion and light.
Innocence unearthed,
With no distinction between animals on a leash,
in a stall, a lab or a cage.

For his love of “effa-lants”
And creepy-crawlers…
For ordering the birds to spare the worms…
And simply asking,
“Mommy, why do some people hurt animals?”

And I give thanks everyday, for each one of you…

Passionate
Obsessive
Unyielding
Devoted
Brilliant
Creative
Forgiving
Patient
Merciful…

###

In unity with animals,
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Brenda Shoss, Kinship Circle

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Happy Save-a-Turkey Day!

Filed under: Holidays & Observances, Food & Drink — Kelly @ November 23, 2006 2:21 pm

Or Happy Tofurky Day, as it’s known ’round my house.
 

Happy Tofurky Day!

 
Tonight we’ll be feasting on - what else? - an oven-roasted Tofurky which, along with buhbie carrots and potatoes, will spend much of the day soaking up an orange juice/soy sauce/brown sugary marinade. The stuffed soy dish will be served with all the trimmings - cranberry dumplings, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes with vegan “bacon” bits, even a faux wishbone (thoughtfully provided by Turtle Island). You know the deal - basically, vegan versions of your standard T-day fare.

The grand finale: a very sweet vegan rendition of pumpkin pie. This recipe is passed on from dear ol’ ma, but I think the good folks at Tofutti actually came up with it.

Recipe below the fold.

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The ACLU, On Notice

Filed under: Animals, Current Events, War on Terra — Kelly @ November 21, 2006 5:46 pm

After doing some more digging re: the ACLU’s position on AETA, I’m now convinced enough that they screwed us to do the previously unthinkable: put them On Notice.
 

The ACLU, On Notice

 
And - if they don’t watch their sorry arses - they may soon be Dead To Me. Assuming I can find a Dead To Me generator.

Anyway, back to that Kinship Circle alert for a moment. Rumor #4 involves the ACLU’s opposition - or lack thereof - to the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act (AETA).

The whole section, verbatim:

4. QUESTION/RUMOR: The ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) didn’t take a stand for free speech by opposing AETA.

4. CLARIFICATION

From D. Barber, Correspondence Manager, American Civil Liberties Union:

The ACLU Letter to Congress Urging Opposition to the Animal Enterprise Act, S. 1926 and H.R. 4239 (3/6/2006) can be read at www.aclu.org/freespeech/gen/25620leg20060306.html.

If you are not already an ACLU member, we encourage you to help support our aggressive work on the issues you care about. To join please visit www.aclu.org/contribute/contribute.cfm or call 1-888-567-ACLU. Once again, thank you for your interest in the ACLU.

Sincerely, D. Barber, Correspondence Manager, American Civil Liberties Union

11/14/06, from Karen Dawn, news [at] dawnwatch.com:

Actually, Sensenbrenner lied about lack of opposition from the ACLU. Sigh. ACLU did not oppose the whole bill but did ask for changes: www.aclu.org/safefree/general/27356leg20061030.html.

After contacting Kinship Circle for clarification, I was told that they were simply providing information regarding the ACLU’s stance on AETA, and leaving it to KC readers to draw their own conclusions.

My conclusion: at best, the ACLU is being duplicitous in their replies to animal advocates who dare to criticize the ACLU’s actions on AETA. Worst-case scenario - they totally sold us out.

Let’s have a little looksee at the facts, shall we?

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Kinship Circle: Questions/Rumors: ANIMAL ENTERPRISE TERRORISM ACT

Filed under: Animals, Current Events, War on Terra — Kelly @ November 21, 2006 3:45 pm

My reply to “rumor” #4 to follow.

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Kinship Circle - kinshipcircle [at] brick.net
Date: Nov 16, 2006 1:03 PM
Subject: Questions/Rumors: ANIMAL ENTERPRISE TERRORISM ACT

KINSHIP CIRCLE – PERMISSION TO CROSS-POST

11/16/06: Questions & Rumors About The Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act

A lot of questions and rumors are circulating the internet regarding the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act (AETA) and its passage on Monday, November 13, 2006. I hope you find the information below useful, as animal advocacy and social justice orgs regroup for the continuing fight. Brenda Shoss, Kinship Circle

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Lazy Day Link Dump

Filed under: Heap o' Headlines — Kelly @ November 20, 2006 3:46 pm

I’ve finally come to the realization that, if I don’t blog about a story within ten minutes of reading it, then there’s a 90% likelihood that I never will. With that in mind, it’s time to empty out my ready-to-burst “blog posts” folder.

Stephen Colbert: sexy man or The Sexiest Man?

The Top 10 Racist Commercials, via Flumesday. The “Harold Ford’s Just Not Right” RNC attack ad only scored #10 - and it’s all downhill from there.

“Polish Exchange Student in US: My Half-Year of Hell With Christian Fundamentalists.” Unfortunately, this isn’t the title for Tuesday’s Springer ep - just another in a long line of international embarrassments caused by our large Bible-beating population. Also covered by PZ and Pam.

“He will destroy you like an academic ninja.” More of the funniest comments on Rate My Professors here.

Bras: not just for boobies anymore.

Christopher Hitchens ripped Mama T to shreds in 1997’s controversial The Missionary Position. He also took the Dalai Lama to task in an equally vitriolic (though perhaps lesser-known) essay, His Material Highness. Subtitle: FAR FROM HIS HOLIER-THAN-ALL IMAGE, THE DALAI LAMA SUPPORTS SUCH QUESTIONABLE CAUSES AS INDIA’S NUCLEAR TESTING, SEX WITH PROSTITUTES AND ACCEPTING DONATIONS FROM A JAPANESE TERRORIST CULT. This one’s from ‘98, so you can imagine how long it’s been lingering the dark confines of my bookmarks folder. Still tasty, though.

Get It Straight by 2008. Go sign the petition in favor of paper trails and random audits for ALL electronic ballots.

Also, via EFF: Tell Congress to Support E-Voting Reform!

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“Ministry to Persons with a Homosexual Inclination”

Filed under: Religion, GLBT, Godbaggers — Kelly @ November 19, 2006 11:02 pm

Another doozy from the Catholic Church:

The nation’s Roman Catholic bishops adopted new guidelines for gay outreach Tuesday that are meant to be welcoming, while also telling gays to be celibate since the church considers their sexuality “disordered.”

In other words, come and gawd-bag with us, brother, and do be sure to tithe at least 10% (because, let’s be honest, you interior designers sure are paid well, and it’s not like you’ll ever have a quiver full of yung ‘uns to support anywho), just don’t look at me funny, or else I’ll have to throttle you like some Peruvian mistress.

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And the industry think tank says: show us the money!

Filed under: Capitalism — Kelly @ November 19, 2006 10:46 pm

Universal and/or affordable healthcare is an idea I can get behind. Yet, somehow, the health insurance industry’s recent proposals just leave me feeling dirty.

Not that they’re all bad ideas, mind you:

The federal government and the states should expand Medicaid to cover all adults with annual incomes under the poverty level, including single adults who cannot now qualify. The poverty level is $16,600 for a family of three and $9,800 for an individual.

The Children’s Health Insurance Program, financed jointly by the federal government and the states, should, at a minimum, cover all children in families with incomes less than twice the poverty level.

Congress should create tax incentives for people to establish “universal health accounts.” People could take tax deductions for amounts contributed to such accounts. They could use the accounts to pay premiums for any type of health insurance. The federal government would help pay premiums for people with incomes below certain levels.

Congress should establish a tax credit for individuals and families who buy health insurance for their children. The credit would be $200 a child, up to a maximum of $500 for a family. It would be available to families with incomes up to three times the poverty level — up to $60,000 for a family of four.

Even so, there’s something a tad unseemly about an industry recommending policy changes that - while they may ultimately benefit the public good - also help to line the industry’s already bulging pocketbooks:

The industry proposed these steps, estimated to cost $300 billion over 10 years […]

The health insurance industry proposed an expansion of Medicaid and new tax breaks on Monday with the goal of guaranteeing coverage for all children in three years and for virtually all adults within 10 years. […]

The industry did not say how its proposals would be paid for; did not recommend any budget cuts or tax increases; and did not say what, if anything, it would do to slow the growth of health costs. […]

In a sense, insurers, like other industries, are recommending tax subsidies for the products they sell. More generally, they are proposing a public-private partnership to cope with a problem — the soaring cost of health care and health insurance — that affects families, employers and the nation’s ability to compete in a global economy.

Got that? A “public-private partnership”, with nary a word about the industry’s part in the problem, or their responsibility to help sacrifice towards a solution.

“We believe that every American should have access to affordable health care coverage,” said J. Grover Thomas Jr., chairman of America’s Health Insurance Plans, the main lobby for the industry, which offered the proposals.

Do you really, J. Grover? Then here’s an idea: why dontcha work on bringing costs down? On pushing generics over the name brands? On allowing patents to expire when they’re due, or - better yet - on decreasing the patent lifetime to begin with?

Nah, that would all affect your bottom line. Better to lobby the government for handouts, eh? (Better still to let the citizens think that you’ve got their interests in mind while doing so.)

F’in lobbyists. It’s like listening to Teh Vatican criticize US border security policy (which I also happen to disagree with) while aiding and abetting child-raping priests. Who’s “inhuman” now, bitch?

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But is it a reverse euphemism if it’s true?

Filed under: Babycakes — Kelly @ November 18, 2006 11:58 pm

 

Reverse Euphemisms

Via xkcd.


 
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