Bill O’Reilly wants YOU!
 

O’Reilly has announced the Great Factor Debate Contest, in which six winners will face off with the outspoken TV commentator on a topic of their choice.
 
“You want a piece of me?” O’Reilly said Monday. “Would you like to sit on this set right here and let me have it? Of course you would. Well, now that can happen.”
 
He warned viewers to “be careful what you wish for.”
 
Applicants can enter by e-mailing OReillyContest [at] foxnews.com.
 
The segments will air Feb. 7-8, Feb. 14-15 and Feb. 21-22.

 
Complete contest rules are available on Fox’s website. 
 
Lots of legalese, but no specific details as to how they’ll determine which “lucky” contestants are best qualified to take O’Reilly to task. Methinks they’ll look for fellow fucktards - only of the liberal stripe - so Bill stands a fighting chance. 
 
My dream team? Matt Stone and Trey Parker. O’Reilly’s such a pompous ass that, really, I wouldn’t wish a debate with him on any of my left-wing idols. Bill would just cut their mics thirty seconds in. Nope, with Matt and Trey, the debacle would be entertaining, at least. Well, for thirty seconds. Till he cuts their mics.
 
Sweet Jeebus.
 
 

 

SPOKANE, Wash. - Mayor James E. West was recalled from office Tuesday in a special election over allegations he offered jobs and perks to young men he met in a gay Internet chat room. […]

The campaign to recall him began last spring after the Spokesman-Review newspaper reported that West was a closeted homosexual who visited gay chat rooms using his city-owned laptop computer, and offered internships and other favors to young men he hoped to have sex with.

West, a former Boy Scout executive and sheriff’s deputy, was elected mayor in 2003 after serving more than two decades as a conservative Republican in the state Legislature, where he voted against gay-friendly bills.

Better yet, our Closeted Crusader plans to sue the newspaper for revealing his unethical and hypocritical conduct. Good luck with that, shithead.

Read the whole story here.

- K

I was just over at Feministe, where Jill posted a link to this mind-blowing NY Times story:

Rock and a Hard Place

By HARLAN COBEN
November 25, 2005

ON May 26, Senator Tom Coburn, Republican of Oklahoma, sponsored a resolution congratulating Carrie Underwood for winning the “American Idol” television program.

Last Friday, Senators Jon Corzine and Frank Lautenberg, Democrats of New Jersey, sponsored a resolution congratulating Bruce Springsteen on the 30th anniversary of his album “Born to Run.”

Guess which resolution got shot down by the party in power?

In the recent past, Senator Bill Frist, the Senate majority leader, has seen fit to sponsor resolutions recognizing “Sun Studio’s Contribution to the Birth of Rock ‘n’ Roll,” and commending the Grand Ole Opry on its 80th anniversary. There have been House and Senate resolutions congratulating or commending musicians, artists and athletes like Chris LeDoux (a rodeo champion and musician), Michael Campbell (a golfer from New Zealand) and Siegfried and Roy.

But no love for the Boss.

Senator Frist or one of his colleagues didn’t let the resolution come up for consideration. […]

Love him or hate him, there can be little doubt of Bruce Springsteen’s contribution to culture and music. You can’t even fault the guy on the personal stuff. By all accounts, he is a good husband, father, man. Unlike many of his musical colleagues, he has never been involved in scandals or self-destructive binges: “No drug busts, no blood changes in Switzerland,” the singer Bono said. “No bad hair periods even in the 80’s.”

So why was he denied this honor?

That’s a rhetorical question, of course. Does anybody on either side of the political aisle really believe that the Springsteen resolution was turned down for any reason other than political payback for backing John Kerry?

Holy fucking shit.

Isn’t the more pressing question, “Don’t these fuckwads have anything more important to do!?”

Seriously.

A brief perusal of today’s headlines reveals a smorgasbord of pressing issues that beg for immediate attention: African girls, some as young as ten, are routinely sold - by their own parents! - to dirty old perverts for $16 or a cow; soon-to-be Supreme Court justice Scalito hates the First Amendment but adores unwanted fetuses; a 25-year-old teacher who boned her 14-year-old student “gets off” - literally - with a slap on the tush; and, months later, FEMA’s response to Hurricane Katrina remains laughable. Perhaps our esteemed Senators should tackle one of these problems rather than quibble over which celeb deserves a pat on the back for recording a catchy tune?

Our reps are inefficient enough as it is - they simply shouldn’t be allowed to waste their already thinly-stretched time on such trivialities. What significance does a resolution “commending the Grand Ole Opry on its 80th anniversary” really have, anyway? (For Chrissakes, it’s not like it’s even their 75th or 100th anniversary!)

And if these morons can’t even agree on something as inconsequential as whether The Boss deserves props for “Born to Run,” how the hell will they ever hammer out more critical agreements, such as legislation to balance the budget, rehabilitate those areas ravaged by Katrina, or help stem the tide of AIDS in developing nations?

Un-fucking-believable.

- K
 
 

He may have been Born in the USA,
but Springsteen is clearly a commie pinko fag traitor!

Louisiana Rep. Charlie Melancon just made this featherhead’s day.

Yesterday Melancon posted a sampling of emails written by and sent to former FEMA chief Michael Brown. Among the gems: an email Brownie sent to Cindy Taylor, FEMA’s deputy director of public affairs, which read, “Can I quit now? Can I come home?”

Due to the high traffic on Rep. Melancon’s web site, CNN has posted all 26 pages of the emails on their site as well. You can view them in pdf format here.

My personal favorite is on page 18, though pages 1, 19, 24, and 26 are definitely keepers:

_____

From: Brown, Michael D
Sent: Monday, August 29, 2005 8:51 AM
To: Bahamonde, Marty; Taylor, Cindy
Cc: Widomski, Michael
Subject: Re: New Orleans update

If you’ll look at my lovely FEMA attire you’ll really vomit. I ama fashion god.

_____

Yeah, Mike, you definitely make me want to vomit, but not because of your fashion choices. Rather, it’s your outrageous incompetence, coupled with an obvious lack of empathy and concern for the citizens of N.O., that makes me want to spew projectile chunks all over your ugly mug.

To top it off, not only did you not get fired, but now we’re actually paying you your regular salary of $12,333/month so that you can help your replacement “investigate what went wrong.” I’ll tell you what went wrong, asshole - you should never have been put in charge of FEMA to begin with! You’re an unqualified douchebag who was too busy worrying about attire and culinary choices to give a flying fuck about the massive hurricane headed for our coast! You’re an idiot - that’s what went wrong. And now we’re retaining you for an extra month just so you can further demonstrate your sheer stupidity?

This asshole is lucky that an outraged red state prosecutor hasn’t yet pressed criminal charges against him. He should be participating in a fucking in a criminal investigation - his. Why should the taxpayers fork over $12,000 for an explanation from Brownie? He fucked up - the least he can do is help to ensure that no similar fiascos occur in the future, free of charge. If the man had any shame, any conscience, he’d donate that money to Katrina relief. Then again, if Brownie was that kind of guy, perhaps Katrina’s tab wouldn’t have reached $130 billion.

Really, I’m just so utterly disgusted that any rant I pound out couldn’t possibly do my emotions justice. Instead, I’ll end with a few excerpts from CNN’s write-up on the emails. More than 1,000 have been submitted to the House committee, so hopefully additional emails will be released to the blood-hungry public sooner rather than later. I haven’t wanted to string a guy up by the ball hairs this bad since “drunken Joe” Hazelwood crashed the Exxon Valdez. A couple of sorry motherfuckers, those two are.

‘Can I quit now?’ FEMA chief wrote as Katrina raged / E-mails give insight into Brown’s leadership, attitude

Thursday, November 3, 2005; Posted: 3:44 p.m. EST (20:44 GMT)

WASHINGTON (CNN) — A Louisiana congressman says e-mails written by the government’s emergency response chief as Hurricane Katrina raged show a lack of concern for the unfolding tragedy and a failure in leadership. […]

Two days after Katrina hit, Marty Bahamonde, one of the only FEMA employees in New Orleans, wrote to Brown that “the situation is past critical” and listed problems including many people near death and food and water running out at the Superdome.

Brown’s entire response was: “Thanks for the update. Anything specific I need to do or tweak?” […]

The e-mails Melancon posted, a sampling of more than 1,000 provided to the House committee now assessing responses to Katrina by all levels of government, also show Brown making flippant remarks about his responsibilities.

“Can I quit now? Can I come home?” Brown wrote to Cindy Taylor, FEMA’s deputy director of public affairs, the morning of the hurricane.

A few days later, Brown wrote to an acquaintance, “I’m trapped now, please rescue me.”

“In the midst of the overwhelming damage caused by the hurricane and enormous problems faced by FEMA, Mr. Brown found time to exchange e-mails about superfluous topics,” including “problems finding a dog-sitter,” Melancon said.

Melancon said that on August 26, just days before Katrina made landfall, Brown e-mailed his press secretary, Sharon Worthy, about his attire, asking: “Tie or not for tonight? Button-down blue shirt?”

A few days later, Worthy advised Brown: “Please roll up the sleeves of your shirt, all shirts. Even the president rolled his sleeves to just below the elbow. In this [crisis] and on TV you just need to look more hard-working.”

On August 29, the day of the storm, Brown exchanged e-mails about his attire with Taylor, Melancon said. She told him, “You look fabulous,” and Brown replied, “I got it at Nordstroms. … Are you proud of me?”

An hour later, Brown added: “If you’ll look at my lovely FEMA attire, you’ll really vomit. I am a fashion god,” according to the congressman.

Yes, Mike, I need to vomit all right - just let me go have a good cry first.

- K

This afternoon I was watching CNN, innocently waiting for more commentary on Bush’s nomination of oppressed Catholic judge Scalito to the US Supreme Court, when Breaking News began to, well, break right before my very eyes. The Dems, emboldened by the Bushies’ latest legal, strategic, and popularity troubles, called for a closed meeting of the Senate. Go Dems! It’s time to act like the pack animals y’all are and start tearing the Repubelicans limb from limb while you have half a chance.

This maneuver, of course, enraged the Repubes, who clustered around the microphones for some good ole’ political grandstanding. It was, mostly, more of the same: the Dems are running scared, this is all just dirty politics, an affront to U.S. citizens everywhere, those dirty queer liberals hate America, yada yada yada.

Then Senator Santorum, who had been making his best attempt at a “serious” face off in the background, behind Senators Lott and Frist, stepped up for his turn in the Whine Line, and dropped this elephant turd in the middle of his “speech”:

“They’ll go to any extent to try to avoid … any discussion about shrinking the size of government. Being more responsible with the taxpayers’ dollars is just so painful that they had to go into private session to recoup and come out again hopefully soon so we can get back to the business at hand…We see it day in, day out around here. There is no agenda, there are no solutions to problems, there’s no trying to get our fiscal house in order. Whatever it is, whatever the issue is, it just keeps snapping back. This, I understand, was particularly painful - talking about shrinking this government and doing … less with more.”

Getting our fiscal house in order, eh? Now, when it comes to overspending, the Dems are certainly not beyond reproach. Watching the dollar signs in the Dem’s eyes whilst they consider tax raises is to imagine Carrie Bradshaw let loose in a room with Prada, Gucci, and a blank check signed by Mr. Big.

The Repubes, however, have more than demonstrated their purchasing prowess, particularly in the past few years. The truth is that they’re all out of fucking control - every last one of the thievin’ bastards, libs and conservatives alike. For Santorum to claim otherwise is disingenuous.

One need look back no further than October 20 when REPUBLICAN Senator Ted Stevens, in a childish outburst, threatened to resign if $233 million (yes, that’s MILLION) was taken from his state and put towards Katrina relief. The money, by the way, was earmarked for a “Bridge to Nowhere” linking the Alaskan port town of Ketchikan to Gravina Island, population 50. Currently, the island’s 50 residents use a ferry for their commute.

So, what did Stevens’ fellow senators do in the face of his tantrum? Why, they relented, of course. Because if they dared to threaten HIS pork, then they’d set a dangerous precedent for fiscal responsibility - and, one day, their special interest projects might end up on the cutting board.

Senator Santorum, in case you’re wondering, sided with Piggy Piggy Piggy Stevens. Whee, whee, whee, all the way to YOUR wallet.

- K

Preteen hearts all over Kansas City are bleeding this week in the wake of the Harry Potter spoiler scandal. Seems as though the ending of Harry Potter and the Half-Blooded Prince was maliciously revealed by 96.5 The Buzz child-hater Susie, of the afternoon show The Church of Lazlo.

A local nerd’s Xanga blog is enough to break your heart:

Monday, July 18, 2005

I am beyond furious.

The second I started my car and my radio powered up this afternoon, 96.5 The Buzz’s Susie McDumbbitch made a statement that seemed to give away a major part of the end of Book 6. I turned of the radio immediately, hoping beyond hope that she was kidding, and fearing that she was telling the truth.

Well, I just got to that point in the book, and she wasn’t kidding.

I know, it’s just a book, but the fact that she gave it away, less than 72 hours after the release, without any remorse in her voice for doing so, makes me fucking insane with anger. It’s just a book, but it’s undeniable that she knew that that book meant a lot to a lot of us. What she did is just plain, adulterated Mean, and there was no reason to do it.

Lazlo and Susie normally entertain themselves by divulging the plots of adultocentric movies, but in a cruel twist, the snapes turned their attention to nerdlit on Monday (now referred to in Hogwart circles as “Black Monday”), describes the aptly named “doughboy”:

KRBZ 96.5 FM, “The Buzz” was already on, and without any warning, the four words I hear immediately were: “(Well known character from the “Harry Potter” series) killed (another well known character from the “Harry Potter” series), see?”

Of course, Harry Potter disciples are taking to the street this afternoon in protest. The joke’s on you, guys - you’re going to be roasting in your wizard suits, as the temp’s set to top 100 today.

Finally, score one for the adults. Legislate that, Hillary!

- K

In a discouraging follow-up to my July 4th post concerning anti-female political correctness in New Zealand, I present to you the following story from the July 14th edition on the Ottawa Citizen:

Cab trainer blasted for ‘insensitive’ remarks

Police detective hinted some cultures accept sexual harassment of women

Zev Singer, The Ottawa Citizen

Thursday, July 14, 2005

An Ottawa police detective who gives sexual harassment sensitivity training to taxi drivers could use some lessons herself, according to a chorus of voices yesterday who say the officer made remarks that were culturally insensitive.

In an interview published yesterday in the Citizen, Det. Theresa Kelm said part of the function of the training course was to explain to drivers what constituted acceptable behaviour toward women in Canada and what types of actions or remarks crossed the line into harassment or assault.

“Some of this behaviour may be acceptable in the countries they are from,” Det. Kelm said. “Our message to them is that it’s not acceptable here, and it won’t be tolerated.”

The comment was made in a story about a cab driver who was convicted of sexually assaulting a female passenger, the third of its kind in the Ottawa area in the past year. […]

The comment implied Canadian culture was superior to that of other countries in terms of attitude toward women, said Mr. Al Mezel [president of the union that represents Ottawa taxi drivers].

Yes, I’m afraid that it’s now politically incorrect to state the facts in Canada. Nevermind that women are covered up, sewn up, and basically treated like chattel in many (most? all?) developing nations. Implying that the humane and egalitarian treatment of women is “superior” is tantamount to racism!

Guess the Canadian Foreign Affairs Department is chock full o’ bigots, then, as evidenced by their advice to female travelers:

“Unescorted women are vulnerable to sexual harassment and verbal abuse,” the website says in the travel report on Egypt. “Physical and verbal harassment of women is a problem,” the report adds about Kuwait.

Foreign affairs also publishes a travel guide for women, called Her Own Way, which explains “female travellers are directly affected by the religious and societal beliefs of the countries they visit.”

It says that in some countries — although it does not spell out which — a differentiation is made by men between women who dress or behave conservatively and those who don’t.

“Understand that, in some parts of the world, ‘respectable’ women don’t go out alone in the evening. In these places, a flagrant rejection of this custom could very well put you in jeopardy.”

Andre Lemay, a spokesman for Foreign Affairs, said the department isn’t looking to offend anyone, but sometimes there is a “reality” that needs to be explained.

“Reality?” Such pedantic discourse reeks of cultural elitism! In today’s über-PC world, sexism seems to be relative. You say, “female genital mutilation,” I say “preserving a would-be whore’s sexual purity.”

No wonder a group of Kenyan women have started their own village, where they can seek refuge from the iron-fisted reign of men:

A Place Where Women Rule

All-Female Village in Kenya Is a Sign Of Burgeoning Feminism Across Africa

By Emily Wax, Washington Post Foreign Service

Saturday, July 9, 2005; Page A01

UMOJA, Kenya — Seated cross-legged on tan sisal mats in the shade, Rebecca Lolosoli, matriarch of a village for women only, took the hand of a frightened 13-year-old girl. The child was expected to wed a man nearly three times her age, and Lolosoli told her she didn’t have to.

What a bunch of radical FemiNazi zealots. They should just shut their yappers and accept their lot in life, no?

Good thing their men are ready and willing to whip ‘em back into submission:

Thriving women-only village is attacked by jealous locals

By Mike Pflanz in Archer’s Post

(Filed: 16/07/2005)

However this revolution in their midst has outraged elders in the nearest town, Archer’s Post, one dusty street lined with two dozen wooden shacks, in a scorched valley 200 miles north of Nairobi.

Angry young men with no money in their pockets now stop minibuses taking tourists to the nearby Samburu and Buffalo Springs National Reserves, warning drivers against stopping at Umoja.

Gangs a dozen strong have mounted daytime raids through the thorn fence circling the village, chasing the women into the bush, beating them with clubs and threatening to torch their stick-and-dung homes.

“We do not have peace in the village now. These men are so angry because we have money and we do not give them any,” said Rebecca Lolosoli, 43, Umoja’s de facto chief and one of its founders.

“We ran away first because we were being beaten and now we are trying to change our lives, we are being beaten again because of how we are doing well.”

Show me a cultural relativist willing to defend such atrocities, and I’ll show you an asshole who deserves a swift kick to the nuts.

It’s a sad, shameful world we live in when condemning the torture and mistreatment of women is considered politically incorrect.

Speaking of women’s rights, news has it that Bush will announce his Supreme Court nominee tonight. Here’s hoping s/he doesn’t have a direct line to “God.”

- K