Photo via Steve Rhodes

 
“The planet has a fever. If your baby has a fever, you go to the doctor. If the doctor says, ‘You need to intervene here,’ you don’t say, ‘Well, I read a science fiction novel that tells me it’s not a problem.’ If the crib’s on fire, you don’t speculate that the baby is flame-retardant. You take action. The planet has a fever.”

- Former Veep Al Gore, Urg[ing] Congress to Take Action on Climate Change

——————-

Tagged: quotables al gore climate change global warming flickr stencils babycakes toeheads

“Condoms don’t belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He’s not a schoolteacher. The information that’s being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is. … The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn’t in the DVD.”

- Concerned parent and godidiot Frosty Hardison, on the screening of Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth in Federal Way, Washington classrooms. Unsurprisingly, the School Board voted to teach the controversy.

—————-

Tagged: quotes al+gore an+inconvenient+truth education school godbaggers christianity end+times global+warming

“The prospect of a virulent flu to which we have absolutely no resistance is frightening. However, to me, the threat is much greater to the poultry industry. I’m not as worried about the U.S. human population dying from bird flu as I am that there will be no chicken to eat.”

- The executive editor of Poultry magazine, in a 2005 editorial, as quoted by Michael Greger in Bird Flu: A Virus of Our Own Hatching.

FYI: The good folks at Lantern Books sent me a copy of Bird Flu to review on easyVegan.info, and seeing as I just finished it today, a review and discussion should be coming soon. Keep an eye out for that. In the meantime, you can read the entire tome for free online. It’s a great book, and I highly recommend checking it out if you’ve got a chance. Or, um, even if you don’t. Scary shit.

—————-

Tagged: quotes animals animal+rights animal+welfare poultry birds bird+flu avian+flu priorities capitalism

“The case isn’t about Jews suing Vienna beef. The case is about Vienna beef not telling consumers that their all-beef hot dog contains pork, whether they’re Jews, Muslims, or Samuel L. Jackson.”

- Lawyer for the plaintiffs Lance Raphael, on his clients’ suit against Vienna Beef for failing to disclose that their “all-beef” wieners are, in fact, encased in pig intestines. Via Religion Clause.

“Well, some will, and I’ll make the decision based on what happens over the next few weeks. And when I do, I’ll make the argument for why I should get a chance. […] I think in America, Americans give people a second chance. And if you learn something and prove you’ve learned something, maybe even more so. Now, I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. We’ll make that decision down the road.”

- Senator John Kerry, in response to the following query from Fox News’ Chris Wallace on the October 15, 2006 edition of Fox News Sunday:

“A lot of Democrats, I’m sure, are saying look, a lot of bad things happened over the course of these four years from 2004 to 2008, because you — it may have been a good campaign, you got a lot of votes — you lost. Why shouldn’t you be held responsible and why should you get another chance?”

For that, dear sir, you are the douchebag of the week.*

Just put it to bed, Johnny. For the love of FSM, tuck in it and crush a pillow over its horridly disfigured puss. Don’t think of it as murder, but Death with Dignity.

—————-

* Well, ok, runner-up to Bill O’Reilly.

———————

Tagged: 2008+elections 2004+elections john+kerry quotables

“On the Hollywood list of people I pray for often, Tom Cruise is probably No. 1. All I have to say to Tom is, God bless ya, I hope you’re having fun. But I’d love through Radar magazine to throw a gauntlet down to Mr. Cruise. I’d love to break bread with him and pray with him, and I’d love for the Holy Spirit of God to reveal the truth to him. That would be an awesome thing…. Seriously though, can you put us together? Can we get a little sushi together? I’d like to give him a spicy Jesus roll.”

— Stephen Baldwin, in an interview with Radar (via Nerve)
 
 

I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus.
I want to feel his salvation all over my face.
 

“I did one magazine and found out you’re not actually allowed to be on their cover without at least a C cup because it turns people off. Apparently they’ve done market research and found that women want to see no less than a C cup on other women. Isn’t that crazy? So they made my tits bigger for that as well.”

- Actress Keira Knightly in Elle, by way of Bust
 
 

You’d better hope she hasn’t read the SCUM Manifesto, Patriarchy!
 

“We’ve got a problem, and it will not be solved only by changing which party has power. Our government at every level is full of people who don’t recognize discrimination when it hits them in the face—or when it comes up for a vote or a court ruling. We must seek out individuals, not parties, who have the courage to run, and who understand the government’s interest in tolerance, liberty, privacy and equality—not procreation. We have enough people—let’s focus on treating them fairly.”

- NOW President Kim Gandy, in her Below the Belt Column, 8/1/06

“Abortion: never an easy choice, sometimes the best choice, always a woman’s choice.”

- One “laurahcory,” in response to Salon’s piece on a godbaggin’ douchebag who penned a zealously deadpan attack on the author of a 7-year-old editorial entitled “I’m Totally Psyched About This Abortion!” Which was published in The Onion. I shit you not. Really. Links available at said Salon piece. Because I refuse to link to anyone that stupid.

“If I continued to headbang on stage, I could have had a brain hemorrhage and dropped dead on the spot.”

- Jonathan Davis, lead singer of Korn, on his recent hospitalization for a blood disorder

(Filed under “I know I shouldn’t laugh, but for fuck’s sake, how do I not?”)

“You may have heard that I’m Mormon…[it’s] very difficult being Mormon. You see for us, marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman and a woman and a woman.”

- Massachusetts Governor (and 2008 Presidential hopeful) Mitt Romney, addressing the Republican Jewish Coalition in Palm Beach, Florida

“You’re naked. There’s a 14 year old girl. You’re chasing a cat around. You’ve got Cool Whip and you want this girl to do some sex act with the cat and then you’ll have sex with her. Is that accurate?”

- Dateline’s Chris Hansen, to an “alleged” pedophile and zoophile, on the 5th installment of “To Catch a Predator”
 
 

Watch Chris wax philosophical on the dangers of Cool Whip.

 
 

“If we accept the anti-choicer’s claim that the zygote is a baby at the moment of fertilization, and the abortion rate is about 46 million per year world wide, and the number of live births is approximately equally to the number of spontaneous abortions, and the number of babies born last year was about 80 million…that means God killed almost twice as many babies as the abortionists did last year. That psychopathic bastard.

“I want to see the anti-choicers start picketing churches instead of abortion clinics.”

- PZ Myers, commenting on this paper in “That great and arbitrary abortionist in the sky”

“I thought no meant no! Pam told Jim that she was not interested and that she wanted their relationship to be platonic. Why did he feel that he could just walk in and kiss her? She should have kicked him in the balls and called the cops. Jim obviously played lacrosse at Duke.”

- OSG, commenting on Salon’s critique of The Office season finale
 

“The lessons of Katrina are important. We’ve learned a lot here at the federal level. We’re much more ready this time than we were the last time. Let’s, first of all, pray there’s no hurricanes. That would be, like, step one.”

- GW, on the new and improved (born again?) FEMA
 
 

 
Don’t look at me - policy is Rove’s forte.
Karl, where are ya, buddy? Doh!
 
 

Republican Senator Nancy Jacobs:

“[M]y Bible says marriage is only between a man and a woman. What do you have to say about that?”

Jamie Raskin, professor of law at American University:

“Senator, when you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution. You did not place your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible.”

 
 
(Overheard at a March 1, 2006 hearing on the proposed Constitutional Amendment to prohibit gay marriage in the state of Maryland.)

Source: Snopes.com